she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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