I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
