worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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