Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
