You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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