Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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