I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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