I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Sober January is a disaster.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
