i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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