Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
