Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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