I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
