I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Alive.
So much puke
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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