Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize