Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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