$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize