you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
