the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
