He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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