Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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