The maid of honor just puked.
look no pants
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
