first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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