He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
