She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
