somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
