He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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