I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
