I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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