a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
