i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
