Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize