i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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