Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sorry about my life...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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