Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
