i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
