they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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