Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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