he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
