So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
