everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
