dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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