the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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