Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
whose parrot is this?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
