One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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