my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
