You just made me feel so damn special
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
