Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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