That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
