If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize