1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize