he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
