I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
