I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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