Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
