I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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