why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
