im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize