did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
