I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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