Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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