why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
