let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
