Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
