and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
