I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
